Witch checkout?

2011-06-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

It is 2011, or so I believe. I'm pretty sure of that, most days. Until last week. I was also pretty sure most people in the UK had heard of psychotherapy. “Most people” meaning more than 50%. Until last week, of course.

Most of my supermarket visits are uneventful. “Most” being more than 50%. So, visiting my local supermarket last week caught me off guard somewhat when it proved to be anything but.

Having shopped for enough food to feed 30 people for one week, I took my goodies to the nearest checkout. The usual beeps from the bar code scanning machine had the familiar effect of lulling me into a relaxed “it’s-nearly-all-over-and-you-can-go-home-soon” type of trance. I hadn’t really paid much attention to the checkout lady. “Almost finished” I thought. As I took my loyalty card out to rack up 1000s of nigh-on worthless points, the checkout lady said to me “you work?” Now, I’m used to working with boundary issues. It’s my job. Much of my work is spent exploring boundary violations, boundary setting and keeping with my clients. However, I wasn’t at work this evening and being human, I was a little off guard! “Er, yes, yes, I do!” Said I. “What do you do? You got kids? You a working Mum?” Feeling a little uncomfortable, aware of the queue behind me, all desperate to hear what I was going to reply and knowing they were next in line to be questioned, I muttered “yes, yes”.

Shoving the food into my bags as quickly as I could, determined to exit stage left, our checkout lady wasn’t letting me get away so easily. With more determination this time, she asked “So.....what do you do? What’s your job?” I thought about brushing her off, avoiding the question, lying, running, pretending my mobile needed answering urgently or just plain fainting there, right on the shop floor, but instead I heard myself answer “Urm. I’m a psychotherapist” in as low a voice as possible. After all, I didn’t want everyone hearing the “interview” I was undergoing. “A what?!” came the reply. I repeat the agony of answering again and try to punch in my debit card numbers on the payment keypad as fast as I can. “A what?! What’s a psychotherapist? Is it like.....is it like......is it witchcraft or something? Casting spells?”

I stop punching in my numbers and look at my “interviewer”. She’s deadly serious. I take a deep breath and, just about to explain myself and my work, I suddenly thought “why bother?” and heard myself saying instead....”yes, yes. Yes, I suppose it is a little like that.” I’m not sure it was she or I who was quickest to get shot of each other.

I know it was naughty but it was late, with a huge queue behind me and I had the sense that no amount of explaining would have worked.

So, here I am, reeling from the shock of being labelled a witch, wondering if she’s a one-off or whether there are other people out there who aren’t aware of what psychotherapy is. Is it really 2011? Most days I’m pretty sure it is. Until last week, that is.

Note to self: more work needed on one’s boundary setting.
Extra note to self: avoid the same checkout next week.

Why I'm popular at parties...

2011-04-21T02:07:00.001-07:00

I’ve lost count of the number of times people have found my work “fascinating” at parties or functions I attend. It seems no-one really wants to get to know “me” but the psychotherapist or hypnotherapist, the work I do. The most frequently asked question I hear is “can you hypnotise me?” This question hosts a range of pre-suppositions and assumptions. I always reply “no, I can’t” and then explain why. It’s a misconception far and wide that a psychotherapist who practices hypnosis can hypnotise their clients. They can’t. We can only assist, guide, facilitate the hypnotic state. Only the client can hypnotise themselves. It’s not just a willingness to enter the hypnotic state but the unique inner world of the client that allows them to journey to that state. As I don’t know that world and have no control over it, I can’t “make” hypnosis happen, I can only guide and facilitate. Ok, yeah, I’m skilled with years of practice behind that skill, but I’m not a magician.....I can’t make it happen, only you can.

The second most popular question I’m asked at such social gatherings is “what’s hypnosis like?” I reply “you already know, you do it on a daily basis”. Hypnosis, although a unique experience for everyone, has many common traits. It’s an altered state of awareness. You experience that state when you’re reading a book, watching tv (unless it’s crap of course!), daydreaming, having sex and caught up on Facebook perhaps! Common traits of the hypnotic state: dissociation from where you are (example, the people or noise around you, the chair underneath you), heightened sense of focus perhaps, a deeply relaxed state or one where you forget your body and travel somewhere in your mind.

No two experiences of trance will be the exact match because no two people are the same. All in all, it’s not new to you, you’ve done it before and are expert at going into trance. You probably didn’t know that!

The Therapist's Blog

Witch checkout?

Why I'm popular at parties...